Old and no fucks left to give so I may as well talk shit about something I think about; skiing, technology and so on. I’m going to spew about all kinds of shit just because.

I’m getting tired of technology and innovation being the answer to real issues, but get annoyed when these things are applied to non-existent problems. I once wrote a university paper on Technocracy and referenced a guy called Jacque Ellul. I’ll go back and revisit him again soon. Anyway, I’m all for learning skills and technique to make things better and like lighting fires and ski touring transitions, there are many ways to do many things. Here I’m going to outline my take on a variety of things and I don’t care how you do it or what you think.

Want to make your transition faster so you can make more “laps”? Don’t care as when I’m doing “laps” it is not a serious day in the mountains and I’m doing “laps’ because it is probably too dangerous (or the weather is too bad) to be doing what I rather be doing; skiing the Alpine. If I am actually doing what I want then I may be doing only one transition and, if everything comes together right, it will be on a summit in the calm sunshine. What’s the hurry?

Sure, you want to be efficient in the mountains and this is how you get the bigger objectives done (no I don’t want to hear about your “mission”, I’m not in the military and this is not a war) so I will pontificate.

Try not to take your skis off at the uphill to downhill transition and keep your skins on until almost the end. Why? Taking your skis off means putting your feet in the snow potentially packing it into the tech binding toe inserts and possibly losing your ski down the mountain. For me it’s get to the top, make a space for myself and my pack. Take off my pack, set it down safely and open the top to get at my boot tongues (I would like to have a different way, but I really like the performance so…) and add/change any layers except my gloves. Bend over (use yoga moves) and buckle the boots for downhill, secure pant cuffs and clip in ski leases (don’t use leases for the up). Next I rotate my heels to downhill (clear out any packed snow) and stomp my heels to seat the rear pins. At this point I may strip my skins without removing my skis or I may take a break and have something to eat and drink. I leave my skins on if I’m going to hang out so I don’t accidentally slide off the mountain. I might sit down on my pack with ski tails speared into the slope.

Once I am finished enjoying the summit I will then strip my skins. I use both behind the ear and cross-over-the-knee technique on either side. I pack my skins in their “wallet” and into my pack (cause I take care of them and I am probably not putting them back on anyway) and then I put on downhill gloves and finish my downhill preparations. I use sunglasses and different tuques (what the fuck is a beanie anyway?) depending on conditions. Just before I start down I click off the toe lock on the tech binding.

That is it for now. Stay tuned for more ass talk.

To continue:

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You pretty much have to take off skis when transitioning from skiing down to skinning back up and here are my thoughts. Take one ski off at a time to keep from punching through the snow up to your groin. Or worse falling through a crevasse if you are on a glacier.

First remove your pack in a secure place and way (change any clothes and such, take off your downhill gloves to keep them dry and put on your skinning gloves). Unlease and remove one ski and rotate the heel to tour mode. Compress the centre of the toe piece to snap the jaws shut on your dynafit style toes several times while smacking the ski on the base side with the heel of your other hand to dislodge any snow/ice buildup. Take care of this now.

Put the skin on and press it on well. Put the ski back on and pull up the toe lock. Swing the ski back and forth several times with your lower leg to chew out any snow/ice that got into the pin receiver divots of your boots. Do the other ski. Take care of the other things (eat, hydrate, piss, repack your pack etc) and start moving again.

Et Cetera:

When transitioning always clip gloves together when changing them out. Nothing is worse than losing (not loosing for fuck sake) a glove. By connecting them together I only have to hunt for one glove as the other one will follow. Ever pull a glove out only to watch the other one sail down the slope because it was kinda, but not really, attached to the one being pulled? This is a lesson. Same goes for always (ALWAYS) closing zippers on packs and apparel. Losing stuff is just lazy. Camp checks are essential.

I have found that one half litre of hot tea in a thermos and one litre of body temperature tea (I like rooibos) in an insulated water bottle works well for me. I drink the warm tea early to stay hydrated and to start to lose some weight. Being only warm means that my body doesn’t need to heat or cool the drink and therefore I can get it in quick. The hot tea I save for later and for a larger rest stop as it takes time to drink because it is hot. I like it to be super hot so that I may be able to stretch it out by melting snow into it. That’s another reason to save it for later. The half litre can be stretched quite a bit if the day is going longer than planned.